So, I haven't written in a while. I've been kinda busy for a while. What with school starting and all the obligations I know have as a sophmore. Not only do I feel like I'm being pulled in many different ways, but I also have to worry about my excessive homework. I don't know why anymore but I'm just not as happy. I can't really put a finger on it, but I think it's just 'cause I dont have something that's mine- a place to fit in. I want something that I can do that makes me happy and is also good in someway for more than just myself. Maybe a charity. Hmm...I don't know if that'e the way to go. But I do want something. I am just overwhelmed with this feeling of sadness and I feel like there is this dark cloud- like on the Soy Joy commercials- following me around everywhere. I really hope that this is a phase that I'm going through because I'm a teenage girl or whatever, but it's like when you go into a tunnel and can't see the end- you question if its even there.
Every since I started going back to school on a regular basis I have been wondering where I fit. I know that it is natural for all teenagers to feel this way, but when it's you, its different. I realize that all my siblings are so nice and they're all so beautiful or handsome depending on who it is, and I feel like the ugly duckling of the family. Not that it matters what they look, but it seems that people except you more when your pretty. Wow, can I get off on a tangent or what.
It's just that high school is really hard when you don't have as many friends as you wish you did. I have friends, but most of my friends are really close friends. I just don't understand why people don't seem to like me. I do think that I figured it out yesterday during a debate in Biology class. I believe it's because I stick up for my beliefs and don't let anyone tell me any different. People don't always like it when someone argues against them. I know that's true for me. When someone opposes me, I do tend to get offensive. Oh, well this is my little rant.
I don't know who reads this. Hopefully you can look back on your teenage years and possibly understand me. If you don't I understand 'cause I would be shocked if you could.
4 comments:
You are blessed to have such great friends AND a close family. Many teenagers don't have one, the other or both.
Stick up for your values. Many students have learned theirs from the media and know deep down they are wrong. The real reason they get upset with you is that they don't have an argument to prove they are right and you embarrass them.
Yeah. Try going through high school with zero friends. No one to sit by at lunch. No one to chat with or talk to about problems with. A best friend is the most priceless thing anyone could have.
And you CAN see the end! Your Senior year and I know you'll love it. You're very smart and while you may not see it, there are tons of people watching you who are impressed by your ability to stick up for your beliefs. There are people who know about what you've been through and are cheering you on all the time whether you see it or not. Trust me. It'll get better! :) Good luck!
Dianna, meet Jessica in her SOPHOMORE year, same as you in college. Can you see the end? It's tough.
But the getting better part is true, and be proud of the great person you are, Jessica. And the great choices you make in friends. Would you rather have one great friend or 100 fair weather friends who worship and adore you - until you have a bad hair day?
You need to update your blog!!!!!!!!!!
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